Expat Articles

I find it is a very fine line to walk. On one hand you want to "blend in", but on the other you don´t want to lose your identity, culture and personality. We try to be as "natural" as possible at home. Behind closed doors it´s always speaking English with Mum and Spanish with Papi. I cook dishes that I grew up with and food which "Mr Forty-Something" did too. I also find that I´ve got an exaggerated sense of nationalistic pride about Australia that I never actually had when I lived there! 

Like men, I find the fastest way to a child's heart is food. "Miss Six" loves baking, so we are always sending homemade treats in for her class to try. Of course anything laden with sugar is bound to be a success. Recently the whole "cupcake craze" has caught on in Spain, but up until now we were happily mixing up batches of fluffy little mounds topped with edible Tinkerbell stickers, white chocolate centres and candy hearts much to the delight of my daughter's school friends.

I don´t stop at the "buttering up" of the small ones either. Instead of sending in expensive end of year gifts to the teachers like some of the other posh mothers do. Yes, I´ve seen designer wallets and bags arrive gorgeously wrapped! I whip up a batch of my Lindt dark chocolate and raspberry brownies, put them in a lovely but inexpensive bright tumbler and envelop them in loads of cellophane with a pretty serviette holder for a clasp. Looks great, and most importantly tastes wonderful. And, the hand written personal notes I´ve had back from the teachers attest this!

On arrival at our new apartment I asked my husband if it would be a nice gesture to whip up some "Anzac Cookies" and deliver them to our new neighbours as a nice introduction. He looked at me in horror shaking his head. Yes, he found it weird and odd, and incidentally so did some of the neighbours. But, there were those that were charmed and now return the gesture with homemade "leche frita" (fried milk squares) and fruit and vegetables from their family orchid.

Speaking English is also a prize in itself. The number of interested parents who adore their children coming over to our house to play is amazing. They see it as a free and creative language class without having to pay an academy. Although one little girl looked me in the eye one day and asked. "What exactly do you speak here: Chinese?".

There are moments when my individual and somewhat casual dress sense makes my daughter cringe. Australians only dress up for weddings, funerals and job interviews. There seems to be a high stakes fashion competition at our bus stop between the mothers. I find it just a struggle to make the bus fully clothed, let alone co-ordinated and with perfectly applied makeup and hair. A lovely old lady who passed our stop daily began to give my daughter bags of old toys. She must have been under the impression that we looked like "poor and needy foreigners". It was I must say much to the amusement of the other parents.

Although I definitely have my "fish out of water" moments, there are also times where I feel downright blessed about being in a cross-cultural family . The other day "Miss Six" came rushing in from school full off glee. "Mummy, Marta said I´m really, really lucky because I know everything in English without even trying. She wishes she always got a gold star on her work and could watch Hannah Montana in its original version too". My heart was beaming!

Suzanne Bernard is an Australian ex BBC Television journalist and producer who has lived in Spain for ten years. Her husband who she met while working in London is a Madrileño, and they have a six year old bilingual daughter. Suzanne lived and worked in Sydney, London, New York and Amsterdam before settling in Spain. You can enjoy the trials and tribulations of Suzanne´s journey living in Spain regularly on our website and we look forward to your response to her pieces.